On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize