I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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