after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
