I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
