Im at strip club and am horny
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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