ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
