I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
