ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize