her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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