just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
