How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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