You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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