I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
