K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize