**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
third nipple confirmed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
