Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
