Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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(816): View more from Missouri

Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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(204): View more from Manitoba

For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.

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(714): View more from California

He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.

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(419): View more from Ohio

... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.

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(813): View more from Florida

Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

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(972): View more from Texas

honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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(718): View more from New York

I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece

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(773): View more from Illinois

death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life

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