I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
