so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize