Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
