If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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