I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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