Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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