I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
