if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
literally had 100 drinks last night.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
