If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
