It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize