I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
