Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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