I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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