are you still at the devil's house?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
