Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
