Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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