I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
