Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
