Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
