We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
