420 ftw
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
