who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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