So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
