You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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