We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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