you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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