Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize