And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
