I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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