I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize