i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
