Sry I called you an 8
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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