The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
