I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
