You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
