keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize