Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
