So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
