we're blogging at a bar
I showed him my bush... on skype.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
