The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
