Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We are all done wearing pants today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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