hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
