Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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