If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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