Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
