Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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