If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
